We’re back with Dr. Sarah Nadimpalli, the Founder/Creator of Same Team Childcare. It’s an online platform that helps parents search for, hire, and work with a nanny. Nadimpalli created an online course for parents and nannies to take together, to make sure it’s a good fit. 

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Let’s get right back into it. Hiring the right nanny can be a daunting process. What’s the best way to make sure the person will be a good fit for your family? 

It can be hard to really judge a nanny applicant until they actually start working. Make sure that you’re on the same page in terms of pay and job requirements, then do a Zoom. (And do our Same Team Childcare course.) Also, get references. I like to see that they’ve worked with a family for at least a year unless there’s an extenuating circumstance.

What should you ask when talking to a potential caregiver’s reference? 

Some possible questions: Do you think they’ll be safe? Is this person trustworthy? Are they reliable? Do they show up at work on time? Also, make sure to ask what their weaknesses are. It’s a good sign if it’s a positive weakness like– “She’s so hardworking that I have to tell her to take a break.” 

You also recommend doing a trial period. How does that work? 

Before you sign on the dotted line, you can offer a paid trial period, when you can be home and get a good idea of what that person is like with your child. It’s also a trial period for the nanny, who may not think your family is a good fit. 

Anything else to remember before you make it official? 

Don’t beat around the bush when talking about budget, responsibilities, or the schedule that you need. Be very clear about exactly what you’re looking for.  “Light housework” can mean a lot of different things. In many cases, nannies are responsible for the child’s laundry and food prep– not the family’s laundry and food prep. So be honest about what you need, whether it’s laundry or cleaning. 

Once you hire a nanny, kids can get pretty attached to them. How should parents handle it if their child seems to prefer their nanny? 

When these little babies and toddlers spend a lot of time with another person, they do get attached. But it’s a very short-term response, and they always know who mom is. It can be humbling and hard, but just realize it’s an extra set of eyes and arms caring for your kid. As it was explained to me by another nanny– they always know who mom is. 

What do you tell moms who feel guilty about time away from their kids? 

Look what you’re showing your daughter or son. You show something important when you’re working on a goal, being a good role model. There’s a study that shows even small spurts of time devoted to our kids is more important than one long day where you’re half paying attention. Cut yourself some slack… 

Even if you’re a stay-at-home mom, book a babysitter and nanny for even a day a week. What’s going to give you relief so you can show up and be present for your kids? You’re a better parent if you feel better. 

You can sign up for the Same Team Childcare course online. And also connect with Dr. Sarah Nadimpalli on Instagram. And check out her latest blog post, “The Big Hairy Secret Among Working Moms.”