This week we’re focused on, well, YOU, the parent. It’s easy to spend our time thinking about what’s best for our children, from sleep training to potty training to after-school activities. But what about US? As our expert, this week says, “If you’re not caring for yourself, you can’t care for your family well.”
ASK THE EXPERT: Self-care for Parents
Jess Vivion is the Founder and CEO of Enni, a modern parenting brand, that creates products for parents that help them navigate the ins and out of parenthood.
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How did you come up with the idea to start a business focused on the parent and not the child?
When I gave birth to my daughter, my second child, the baby nurse in the hospital said to me, “Now that the baby is born, everyone forgets about the parent.” And it was something I couldn’t forget. I was on maternity leave and started doing research and realized that there are a ton of products on the market for new moms, pregnant women, or products for babies, but nothing for parents.
As part of your research, you talked to a lot of parents. What did you find out?
I asked parents if they could name a product or service that actually helps them as a parent now. Everyone thought I was asking a trick question. Everyone said that they’re incredibly stressed, need more time in their day, and just want to feel better.
Why is this such a big problem?
Because if you’re not caring for yourself, you can’t care for your family well. It’s so important to invest in your own well-being. Part of our content is to look at who we are as parents and who we still are as ourselves. So much of that gets lost because the focus is on our kids.
You focus a lot on self-care. Given that parents have so little free time, how can they squeeze self-care into their day?
Self-care means a lot of different things. We can also just give ourselves a little grace. We’re bombarded by parenting messages: “No screen time. No snack before dinner. Bedtime at the same time every night.” And obviously, these are great ideas to help our children. But I think self-care is letting some of this go. It’s ok if you give your child the iPad for an hour to give yourself an hour back in the day.
Parents are always exhausted, and it seems like it’s even worse during the pandemic. So many working moms have been forced to leave their jobs. Do you think it’s a wake-up call?
I just think the pandemic put a magnifying glass on the impossibility of working full-time and parenting full-time. Either you’ll feel like you weren’t a good parent that day, or that you didn’t do a good job at work. This notion of having to be in an office for x amount of time– it’s really not realistic, especially for parents who can’t afford childcare. And during the pandemic, we were able to see that parents could do their work on their own schedule. It’s really a trust issue.
Do you think things are finally changing?
I hope so. How do you go through these past two years and not learn a lot? Flexibility and access to childcare are huge. One of the things we’re looking to do at Enni is to help parents with re-entry programs if they’ve taken a pause from work and want to reenter the workforce.
That’s so important. Going back to work is so incredibly hard, and very few people talk about it.
When I returned from work, it was so humbling. Before I left, I thought I was such a badass. That I could do x, y, and z, and no one else could. But you’re gone for a few months and realize someone else can do it.
You can connect with Jess Vivion, Founder and CEO of Enni, on Instagram.
